Great Moments in Laziness #4

Today's great moment in laziness is once again one of those life changing pieces of technology that so drastically change the fabric of our lives that it's nearly impossible to remember what life was like before its introduction. I give to you.....THE MOBILE/CELLULAR TELEPHONE!!!!

Here's the convoluted history of the cell phone. What an amazing history, eh? Full of interesting stuff and dates and acronyms and people's names and sex and violence. Ok, you got me. I didn't read that shit but that's not important. The real question is: How did this effect laziness? Simply and profoundly. With the power of mobile communications people no longer had to be super organized when leaving the house. Grab you keys, possibly put some pants on, and leave the house. You can text and call people on the way. No need for prearranged meeting coordinates and times. No need for tactical precision that rivals the highest trained military units in the world. Planning social events has now become the domain of uptight assholes. Besides, your cell phone has an alarm clock, a calendar, e-mail, the internet, and (in the case of mine) a single shot pistol so you still be an anal retentive jerkwad on the go! How the hell did people go outside before the cell phone?

Anal retentive actions like organization and planning are the bane of the lazy. Such things are only done under the pretense of directly aiding future laziness. Technology leads the way in this area.

Sure it's probably giving us all brain cancer, but doesn't a little less stress now make up for a little brain cancer later? That was a rhetorical question. Of course it does.