Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Be a Regular

Readers, I am ashamed. With all this talk of getting your orders quickly and efficiently I forgot the laziest and best way. Become a regular at an establishment, preferably a small independent one where the owners or same small group of staff are working every day and soon you will get to hear these two beautiful words.

"Your usual?" *HALLELUJAH*

It doesn't matter how complex or idiosynchratic your order is, once it is your usual it is reproduced the same every day without any need to say anything other than "Yes please." Sure, you have to have exactly the same thing every day but you are a valued regular customer and treated as such. I was reminded of the power of being a regular this very morning. We have a nice little independent coffee shop on my way to work. It's run by a very nice Turkish couple. Anyway, I've been stopping in there for a cappuccino every day for the last week. It's damn tasty coffee and I need it in the mornings at the moment, plus I have to literally walk past it.

Today for the first time I had the *HALLELUJAH* moment. He knew what I wanted when he saw me coming and he was starting to make it as I walked through the door. He still asked me whether I wanted chocolate sprinkles (yes) or sugar (no) but he'll learn that too. He's also learnt that in the morning I am incapable of any sensible conversation about whatever crap is on the local radio and has given up on the small talk. I feel a bit bad, he's a nice guy, but it's not my fault I genuinely can't talk coherently in the mornings.

I can't compete with my little brother though. He was once so well known at our local chip shop that on one occasion, when my mum went to order fish and chips for the family, she was told by the proprietoress when she ordered my brother's usual (quarter pounder burger) that "he's already been in today". Yes, he was such a regular that any member of his family could order his usual for him, and not only that but the nice fast food lady was concerned for his health.

So if you are lazy, support your local independent establishments, not because of some anti-globalisation bullshit, but because they'll go out of their way to remember what you eat or drink and do things that make your life easier. This works in bars, coffee places, fast food outlets, anywhere the people working the counter have their livelyhood utterly dependent on the business succeeding.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I prefer the "Hi Norm" from Cheers.
Just enter and get what you want.

Anonymous said...

"What's going down Mr. Peterson?"

"A beer, Woody!"

DV said...

Indeed a glorious thing. The suspiciously middle eastern boys at the Philly Cheese Steak place I visit know me by sight. Never again will I have to say "Half steak, no peppers." They already know. Those magnificany bastards.

Anonymous said...

You could write your favourite orders for different places on paper and just hand it to each every time. Point to your throat as if it's sore. And write at the top of the paper "Please return this paper" (in case they just bin it afterwards).
I mean, I wouldn't do this but if you hate talking it could work.

Anonymous said...

This method works great at local bars and whorehouses, too.