The Dangers of Fast Food

Fast food can be dangerous. If you're from the coaly hills of West Virginia and borderline retarded, it's not just the deliciously fatty decadence that will get you.

Check this semi-old story out: McTard orders sandwich of death. Sadly survives. That's the title I would have used for the article.

For those too lazy to click the link, which I hope is most of you, allow me to summarize thusly: Some fool went to the drive through and ordered a cheeseburger, without the cheese (which is known as a hamburger to those sophisticates in the big city), and even though he claims to have had great difficulty ordering he didn't check the burger. Oh, no big deal right? Wrong. It's a pretty big deal if you turn out to be allergic to the cheese that is still on the burger. So McTard takes one bite and he's near death on his way to hospital. As my headline gave away, he survived to levy the inevitable "I'm stupid but you should be looking out for me" lawsuit.

Now, I touched on this briefly in a previous, massively entertaining post. I believe I phrased it something like "High likelihood that your order will be more fucked up than 3 year old after a shot of whisky." What I didn't mention was that such an ordering mistake could be fatal. My bad. I feel sort of responsible for all our readers out there who died because they couldn't check their food. I should have voiced a stonger warning. Ok, I don't really feel bad. Especially for this brazenly stupid fast food denizen. After all the guy probably can't read. Anyway, let me put a stronger warning out there now. DO NOT under any circumstances put in a a crazy order at the drive in. Just don't do it. If you want your sandwich with or without something non standard, walk your ass inside. Seriously. As unlazy as that sounds ordering at a drive thru can be dangerous business. It should NEVER be attempted when ordering non standard menu items. This goes triple, or quintuple or some other really large multiplier when you're ordering something that you're allergic to.

Also, if you're deathly allergic to something, you should probably look at your food pretty closely anyway. You never know.

Final note, take a look at the picture on that link. That's not the retard in question. That's the retard's lawyer. He looks like Ronald McDonald's illegitimate child. Maybe he's got a personal grudge in all this. Daddy always liked Grimace the best.