Great Moments in Laziness #3

Today's great moment in laziness will not apply to country bumpkins, hillbillies, or rednecks. No, this great moment applies only to those sophisticated city folks and big time travellers who have actually been in a city that has tall buildings. I think even the retards of the Internet might know where I'm going with this one.....
That's right, I give you THE MIGHTY ELEVATOR! Or lift as it's known to some twats.

Whether it's an Otis or a Schindler, the elevator is a magical device that has saved millions of people, millions of units of laziness (we should probably invent a unit of measure for laziness. Like the anti-erg or something.). Who invented them? How do they work? I don't care. You can Google it if you care that much. All I know is modern life would be impossible without the elevator. People would be fighting to the death for the rooms on the first floor of a hotel. Skyscrapers would be constrained to the world of fantasy and imagination. And fat people would be even sweatier than they are now.

Fuck some stairs. Elevators for ever! Although I have been in an elevator that fell 3 floors before the emergency brakes kicked in. Maybe they're not so awesome, what with the chances of getting stuck and/or death. Nah, they're awesome. Way better than trudging up 80 gajillion stairs to the top of some tower or office building. We'd have mass hysteria without the elevator. I, for one, wouldn't have made it up to my office on the second floor this morning.

Special shout out to handicapped people and disability laws. Thanks to them, every building in America over two stories has to have an elevator, or they're gonna have a big ass lawsuit. Except for apartment buildings. For some reason they almost never have elevators. Especially when you're helping that hot chick move into her third floor apartment. And you're hoping she'll finally realize just how awesome you are as you lug a 200 lbs couch up 90 individual stairs with a bad back and your leg muscles burn like the fires of hell. But no. All she does is say thanks and tosses a "Talk to you later!" your way as she closes the door in your face.

As Seinfeld would say, "What is the deal with that?"