Public Service Announcement

This isn't about being lazy. This is serious shit, but not quite as serious as being lazy. I'm sending this out as warning to all our readers, especially to our New York readers. New York City is the front line of a new and dangerous battle. Worse than the war on terrorism. Worse than the war on drugs. Worse than the recall against toxic toys made in China. New York City is under attack by....NINJAS! It's possible this is just one Ninja, as they all look the same and wear gloves, thereby leaving identification evidence hard to find. In any case, this is a dangerous situation. One Ninja is a match for like 600 cops in a fair fight, and this Ninja isn't fighting fair. If it's a team of Ninjas...well...I don't even want to think about that.

Last week we had lazy technology turning on us, now Ninjas. This truly is the end of days. My friends, this is a world in which mankind cannot survive. Forget I Am Legend. Vampires are nothing. Will Smith wouldn't last 5 minutes if elevators and Ninjas decided to fuck him up. Our only hope is to release either A) Pirates or B) Robots or C) Robot Pirates to battle the rogue Ninja(s). New york City may be just the beginning. We all need to be aware and be vigilant. Personally, I'm going into the bomb shelter when I get home and I'm going to properly stretch out so I can kiss my ass goodbye.