Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Ways I get in trouble

I'm taking a little bit of a departure here. Bending away from the world of laziness a bit, toward the world of me being a fuck up.

According to the results of our recent, highly scientific poll, our good readers (aka the ass clowns) want to see us get in more trouble with our women folk. Well, to help make that a reality, I'm going to post all the things that usually get me into said trouble. By merely posting this list, I'm pretty sure I'll get in trouble, so here's me giving you ass clowns what you asked for.

1) Talk about me being fat
2) Eating hair
3) Biting
4) Tickling
5) "Nearly" running over old ladies in the parking lot
6) Driving someones BMW 325i
7) Not letting the same someone drive my 350z
8) Making fun of height, fingers, toes, or elbows
9) Not being nice
10) Looking at porn
11) Going to strip clubs
12) Utilizing my extensive knowledge of celebrity nudity to answer self invented trivia questions
13) General mischief with common items on the table at dinner

There they are. The known things that automatically get me in trouble. Anyone got any to add? And by anyone, I think you know who I mean. I can think of a few more that will be added to this list in the near future, but I'm not going to spoil the fun and list them now. That would be too easy.

Any ass clowns out there feel like trying to bait me into doing any of them? Specifically #5, 9, or 11. Especially if you're footing the bill.

14 comments:

carolinalily said...

Hmmm, do we need to have another sales meeting? The last sentence just got you in trouble again.

Mike said...

Mission accomplished!

My personal list shares some of those items, but includes some you didn't mention like saying that jewellery is pointless/a waste of money (especially if in relation to something like an engagement ring).

I'm happy to foot the bill for you to attempt to run down another old lady in a parking lot.

Unknown said...

It's only the engagement ring part of that discussion which gets you into trouble. I don't wear jewelery enough to disagree about anything else.

DV said...

Someone also said I should add wet and/or dry willies on the list. Basically I shouldn't stick my fingers in her ears.

Mike said...

Or probably anything else.

carolinalily said...

Agreed, Mike! You can also add hickeys to the list...

DV said...

I'm confused. I shouldn't stick anything else in your ears, or I shouldn't stick my fingers any place else?

carolinalily said...

Is that a rhetorical question?

DV said...

Would it be better if it was?

carolinalily said...

You're so pretty.

DV said...

It's a good thing too.

Anonymous said...

Hehe, you put way too much thought and effort into this list. It really boils down to "I get in trouble because I'm a guy and they're not".

Mike said...

I reckon the "they" in that sentence might get him in trouble! Well done.

Anonymous said...

Utilizing my extensive knowledge of celebrity nudity to answer self invented trivia questions

that's maya as funny as the 3 boobs tralalas